The Life You’ve Always Wanted
John Ortberg wrote a book a few years ago with that title. I haven’t read it, so I can’t say anything about its contents, but the title struck me oddly one day. What if you someday get the life you’ve always wanted, and it turns out that it doesn’t actually do what you thought it was going to do? What if, once you have it, you don’t want it anymore? Or perhaps another way to think of it – what if you find you want something more? Or something else entirely?
As we grow, I think what we want changes over time. Or perhaps it doesn’t change so much as it becomes clarified and uncovered. Maybe what we want is always buried down there someplace; it just hasn’t been well understood and has been muddied by other things.
And I think this is true, not only in a simple matter of, “I didn’t want Jesus before, but I want Jesus now,” though perhaps this, too, will always grow deeper and more clarified over time, but what if, even as Christians, what we want continues to change? Could it be that what you’re wanting at this moment will turn out, in time, to not be what you want at all, and instead, you’ll want something better that you haven’t even conceived of yet? Perhaps you’ll want something that, right now, seems paltry, but as our character and heart changes, it seems to me that what seems meaningless now can become of vast value later on.
It may very well be that the life we’ve always wanted won’t be anything like what we want or think we want now.
Lord, you have hidden the truth from the wise and given it to the simple. Our eyes are always clouded, not only from seeing You, but even from seeing ourselves clearly. Help me to be humble enough to be honest about what I really desire, even if it’s not what I think I’m supposed to. And help me to be willing to let my desires change to what truly fits how You’ve fashioned me. I desire to desire well. I ask this grace, knowing I have entrance to Your presence because Your Son has invited me here and because Your Spirit hears and abides with us all.